Everywhere But There - Travel my Teacher

Its been an eternal wandering and wondering the last 18 months through Asia.From the easy flow of Thailand , to the heart beat of Cambodia , the gentleness of Vietnam , the serenity of Tibet , madness of Kathmandu and the slow boat contemplation of China . Time spent working and living in Beijing was intense on so many levels. Beijing has been one of my biggest teachers -and I have been blessed to allow myself to be completely open to these teachings. Listening and integrating these teachings - well that is another story !

I lived successfully in the haze of Beijing , with remnants of uncontrolled fits of coughing  in the clean sea air of Cape Town , still bearing witness to this time.Some more on Beijing later.
So how does being back in Cape Town make me feel ? I love seeing everyone , drinking good wine , eating amazing food ,  having open hearted chats with friends , walking  and champagning on the beach , lazing in the afternoon sun , huge cups of Normalitea  and embracing the love of all the cats curled up on familiar sofa's.  The beautiful knowing that I am loved by such awesome amazing people !  And we like to laugh - a lot .
BUT for me  .........  Cape Town brings anxiety , a falling back into old patterns, a stalemate,  a  family role , boredom and a deep feeling of restlessness.This time home something has shifted , I feel a new connection point with those I love and Im hoping this will bring me peace and the ability to want to stay in one place.
ALAS I embrace the generosity of my friends to allow me spaces and circumstances to rest and recharge and wander in wonder what the hell next ? I say Thank you to you all for allowing me to flit in and out of your lives ! One day you won't get rid of me so easily !
Resting and recharging is a new activity for me and I must admit I'm really crap at it . This time around in Cape Town I managed to rest - Usually three days is my max and then I start being  scratchy, itchy and bitchy.
I like change but Im still figuring out if change likes me.It can be challenging at 46 to keep on changing , but then again I'm doing it now while I can , experiencing what I can , travelling whilst I'm able .I cannot count my blessings at this stage of my life there are so many !
Travelling has rekindled the fire in my belly - sparked my passions and expanded my opportunities for deep personal growth. This is the beauty , the fun and the hardship of travel.It brings a lot of solitude .The sightseeing is just a bonus - experiencing life first hand and faced with only yourself - homeless, jobless brings a whole new set of feelings to the fore.
So let travel be my teacher I said - Ive had so many others the last few years - through the plant medicines, people- especially the women in my life , children , nature and just the day to day ritual of life. So travel became my teacher once again - not the pretty blonde music teacher in the front of the class - nope - the mathematics teacher with his huge moustache and his furrowed brow.
Show me how to trust and surrender I asked - This is an ongoing process and jet when Im about to say life - look at this now you want me to trust and surrender its all a mess - and then there it is the result of trust and surrender .
Show me patience and tolerance - Lets learn this by putting you into a subway with 22 million Chines e people  everyday  commuting to work or a small van with 8 others on a gruelling trip overland Tibet to Nepal, throw in a car breakdown and a landslide.But will I change this right now ? No. What else will I do I ask myself ? What are the options right now, settle down, grow a garden ?
I want to be an observer of life , I want to feel alive , I want to marvel at the world and her beauty , I want to be a storyteller ,a listener , I want to admire the courage of strangers as they also walk their paths.

I don't regret the changes I made or the ones I'm about to change again..Im grateful for my courageous heart and my ability to leap. Till the moment I once again find a "home" , a place I want to be for awhile, a soft spot - I will leap again and anticipate the wonder of the journey.

Blessed Be