EXTRAORDINARY ORDINARY LIVES !

Pressure to be extraordinary ! I say Fuck off ! We already are ! 

 My weeks are ridiculous - outside Starbucks I encounter an alien and a dinosaur at 7:30 in the morning - it seems surreal as I make my way to chinese class where the students are drama teachers and so damn rowdy that no one learns anything - then flying into a day that involves Oscar Wilde stories,Production rehearsals , a flooded kitchen on return home -all the white dishcloths used to wipe the floor and the mysterious mopper unknown. 
Trying to get onto my VPN for the 1000 time , mysterious cooking at 3 in the morning from my flatmates mom ( week 2 she is still here - mysterious parcels of green vegetables delivered to the front door )  


Buying cat food when I don't own a cat but religiously feeding the downstairs hutong cats now lovingly known as Vladimir, Button baby and Inge - everyday someone takes my tupperware dish I feed them in - who would do that ?  Ikea needs another visit !

Construction at 11.30 at night  outside my window when I'm recovering from a tequila filled , halloween night and wild dancing most required after looong weekend workdays . Visions of ghostbusters, ninja's ,  cave man drummer , horses and Native American Indians flash in a blur across my minds post apocalyptic party eye. 

Mysterious men from Colorado , A hundred foot journey , watching how to sharpen a pencil ( 30 minutes of mind bollocking numbness) exchanging British terms of endearment (not - hear Sod it , twat , git ) on the bus home. 

Pollution reminding us thickly and forcefully that my lungs are 47 years old - how a blue sky can cheer you up in seconds - lung cancer forgotten ! 
 Halloween movies where the Pizza  delivered is so large - its much more scary than the movie itself ! Skyping with a friend in Nepal whilst in bed reading Kafka on the shore . 

Rapping polite girls wearing an apron on a bicycle - making motherfucka sound like icing on a cupcake . Margarita's , Meditation day 18  and dr. Zeuss being pushed down a hutong alley in a shopping trolley . 

There is no pressure to be amazing , unique , wild or adventurous - we already are ! 

Our everyday stories are wilder than we think ! Stories happen to everyone , everyday ! 

Care to share ? 

Clear Skies , Coffee and Hutong Contemplation

In the unravelling of the last few months of my life - I've come to the conclusion that this unravelling is indeed a building of something new . 

I've learnt much about myself these last few months even after years of self-exploration , China has this effect of peeling the layers so painstakingly laid on by my conditioning. 

So another layer slips off ( Just wish it would slip off my thighs ! ) and seemingly thoughts that were impossible to navigate are now starting to find their North . 

Sigh ! A relief as I wander the Hutongs in the Autumn morning and revel at the life - the awakening of the morning, the simplicity of the old man on his chained down chair as he smokes contemplating his life. 

What makes us so different , so separate , culture?,life experience,male /female - Nothing - we are both just here trying to be present , be happy . 

Suddenly I need a cigarette - maybe the long drawn look of his face , the pursed lips holds some revelation - and maybe in that deep inhalation and the strong exhalation the answer is revealed. And there it is - the answer  in a puff of smoke - floating into the early morning air - disappearing slowly ! And then he spits as if rejecting the answer he just received. 

Across form his home is a cafe and I settle for a coffee instead of a cigarette - I watch them make artisan coffee -  Wow ! for all the tea in China - the concentration from two chinese men ! - brewing , weighing , steaming to produce a perfect cup of coffee. And it is perfect , delicious -  not tainted with sugar and soft pillows of foam ( yes, sorry  I am a flat white , cappuccino heathen) 

One thing one time - this a friend told me once - focus on one thing -one time. Is this where I constantly go wrong as my life consists of multitasking , multi managing, multi, multi - exhaustion. 

  

If I had to choose one thing - what would it be ? 

The journey to my divorce , the exorcism of my old life was the choice - the choice was to live . Right ? 

Is that one thing ? 

I wonder as I watch the man light another cigarette - One thing in and exhale -one thing  out 

I put my head out the window to smell the smoke - maybe there is an answer for me . 

What will I choose next ?   Maybe a  Voyage !